Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010
You’d have to think that this is a joke. A bunch of jokesters got together and joked it up until they decided to make a fake website and put their joke out there for all the world to see. It may be a joke! I don’t think it’s a joke. Ladies and gentlefops… The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals
So much good stuff in there. Like:
The most unexpected segment of this show’s fanbase was America’s young men. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. With no real adults in sight, these poor children became obsessed with the poorly conceived characters on this show. Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.
Or how’s about:
Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”
All links and bolding are in the original.
Erm, I grew up in the 80s. I watched Golden Girls from time to time. I never went to any cheesecake gay parties to watch it, though. Sometimes I get to thinking about what would make some nut write an article like this. I will still allow that it’s one enormous joke, but if it’s not then I believe this is simply a personal experience retold. I mean, in the fantastical reaches of my perverted mind I couldn’t conceive of a party where a dozen “teens and twentysomethings” watched golden girls, partied hard to cheesecake and gabfests, and then had an orgy.
This is Daily Cardinal-level stupidity (speaking of which, we never heard back from Kay Van Pay!) This is an outrage! Or it could still be the greatest joke ever played on a christian news site! Not sure!