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Our DirecTivo receiver gave up the ghost last week. For a while there we could boot it up and get a couple of hours of splendiferous entertainment before it reverted to its natural state, or what I like to call The Black Screen of Death. Now that the hard drive is busted we can’t even watch normal TV.

So I had this great idea that may or may not actually work, since the hard drive is on the fritz. I’m going to try to replace/upgrade the hard drive and also install some cool hacking tools to be able to do things like setup recordings over the internet and copy shows to my computer to burn to DVD.

“How the hell will you accomplish that, Zach?” you may be asking, “Your ability to work with electronics ranks slightly above pool cleaner on the overall list.”

Lo and behold, I have found a way. If it doesn’t work, then *shrug* it was broken anyways. I might as well try some Do-It-Yourself action before I go out and buy a new receiver. Here’s to trying.

RAJ OUT.

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If, by wine party, you mean drinking a glass alone while I do some work, then yes it is a wine party. Seven Sinners Syrah is good stuff. Highly reccomended.

Battle of Bautista is this weekend. Check out the 2004 bios for yours truly and Fudd Ruckus. Don’t know what our team name will be, but it’d better rawk. The after-party is in Los Gatos, I heard. Mountain Charlie’s, I’m comin’ home.

Also this weekend: Scientist’s favorite Garlic Festival (hint: in Gilroy) and the first ever(?) San Jose Grand Prix, being held in downtown San Heezy. Apparently someone thought it would be a grand idea to race indy cars at 190 mph around downtown streets. Awesome.

RAJ OUT.

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To review how we got here, I’ll turn the mic over to wirkstew himself:

St. Loiuis was cool. Kinda beat up, but nice. Saw two games (Monday we got destroyed; Tuesday we won), but sadly no Whitey Herzog Bobble heads: they were all gone when we got there. Dang. It woulda went well with my Pittsburg Pirate patriotic July 4th ball cap I got last year. The stadium was nice and junky, kinda like County Stadium, and their new stadium looms behind half-built like the death star. Beers are really big (20oz of Bud Light) and the hot dogs are really red and tasty. Overall the fans were nice.
OUr hotel was cool. They converted a train station into a hotel and mall. It had some cool foutains and a pond full of goldfish that you could feed pellets to for .25 cents. There were also a few turtles. I spent .75 total on this. We also did some tourist shit, hit the arch (stupid) and a riverboat casino ( par for us: I won 50, Jessie lost 70). We ate some good meals (ribs, seafood, sushi) and got drunk (bar time 3am, across the river in Illionois 5am). All in all a good time.

Oh yeah: we also snapped a pic of the best lady in STL: 55 yrs old, white spandex short shorts, cards jersy tucked in to the shorts, cigar in mouth, cowboy hat on top. Yeee HAAAWWWWW. I’ll send the pic to z-money to post. Whazz on.

Without further ado: look upon St. Louis’ works, ye mighty, and despair!

RAJ OUT.

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Our DirecTivo is dying slowly by the day. It starts losing the audio/video stream more and more until it shuts the service off, then when you restart the box it is ok for between a couple minutes to a couple hours, at which point it does it again.

I called the DirecTV customer support line, and was actually transferred to a specialized DVR support line. The guy’s summary opinion: our shit done broke. Bawk bawk what? “Is it normal,” I asked, “for a DirecTivo to last only 10 months?” His response, verbatim, was “Sir, it’s just like any other piece of electronics equipment. It could last 20 years or 10 days.” He also informed me that since we bought it in November it was out of warranty. Our new options: re-up our DirecTV contract for an additional year and we get a new DirecTivo for free, plus $15 shipping, or pay $79.99 plus $15 shipping to get a new one sent to us. Bullshit is what I call it.

It’s hotter than hell here today. I’m sitting in a darkened downstairs of my house with a fan pointed directly at my balls, desperately trying to complete my sputnik before I pass out.

RAJ OUT.

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[14:32] WhazzerWife: are you playing poker tonight?
[14:34] zachmoneypenny: not that i’m aware of
[14:34] WhazzerWife: Does that mean you have to play, but only in your subconscious mind?
[14:34] zachmoneypenny: no, Chuzzle keeps my subconcious occupied
[14:35] zachmoneypenny: i was seriously dereaming of little fuzzballs sliding around all last night
[14:35] zachmoneypenny: freaked me out
[14:37] WhazzerWife: HEY
[14:37] WhazzerWife: What happened to lil kim?
[14:37] WhazzerWife: Is she in jail?
[14:39] zachmoneypenny: yeah
[14:39] zachmoneypenny: perjury is a bitch
[14:39] WhazzerWife: who did she perjure herself for?
[14:40] zachmoneypenny: there was shootout outside of a new york studio. she said she never saw anything. lil’ cease and another guy testified otherwise. she got caught lying in court. was about to get sentenced to a hella long time in jail, but threw herself on the mercy of the court and profusely apologized; got it knocked down to one year in the slammer.
[14:42] WhazzerWife: stop it
[14:42] zachmoneypenny: stop what?
[14:42] WhazzerWife: If I catch you saying hella again, you are gonna get it.
[14:42] zachmoneypenny: damn, you hella salty
[14:43] WhazzerWife: not funny
[14:43] WhazzerWife: we are not that dumb
[14:43] WhazzerWife: but that sucks for lil kim!
[14:43] WhazzerWife: who’s lil cease???
[14:43] WhazzerWife: and what did she see?
[14:43] WhazzerWife: did she shoot someone?
[14:43] WhazzerWife: i bet someone tried to steal her style, and she shot them, like in that song
[14:44] WhazzerWife: my sputnik is almost complete
[14:44] zachmoneypenny: remember that “Crush on You” song where Lil’ Kim was clad in all sorts of Primary Color nonsense outfits and singing, “I know you seen me on the video (true) I know you heard me on the radio (true)…” and there was that other guy sitting around in the video nodding at her? That guy was Lil’ Cease!
[14:44] zachmoneypenny: Lil’ Cease an’ Desist, muthafucka!
[14:45] zachmoneypenny: well, at least she ain’t poisoning people’s food yet
[14:45] zachmoneypenny: my sputnik is almost complete
[14:45] WhazzerWife: or putting tags on their toes
[14:45] WhazzerWife: lil kim’s sputnik is not even close
[14:45] zachmoneypenny: it might be in 10-12
[14:46] WhazzerWife: wait, i thought you said she just got one year?
[14:46] zachmoneypenny: 10-12 months, honey. that’s still hella long to be stuck in the clink.
[14:47] WhazzerWife: Ok, I’m buying a huey lewis & the news and a journey cd on the way home. We can listen to that until we get all the “hella” out of us.
[14:47] WhazzerWife: We can slow dance!
[14:48] zachmoneypenny: *grumble*
[15:01] WhazzerWife: (tacoturd)
[15:01] WhazzerWife: hey - post another thread on whazzmaster.
[15:03] WhazzerWife: I had lunch with lil heather today.
[15:20] WhazzerWife: (sputnik)
[15:20] WhazzerWife: (my sputnik is almost complete)
[15:21] zachmoneypenny: my sputnik is almost complete

RAJ’s SPUTNIK IS NEARLY COMPLETE.

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If you haven’t heard the full five part version of R. Kelly’s Opus to Cheatin’, “Trapped in the Closet”, you are really missing a ridiculous treat. I don’t know what R. Kelly was smoking, drinking, eating, or fucking when he came up with the idea for this lunacy but it is very entertaining in a car-crash sort of way. The background effects are awesome, and when R. threatens to shoot someone if they don’t tell him what the hell is going on. Also, the way he supplies his own censoring “boops” over the swear words is hilarious. “Girl you better cut the bull*boop*!” Sometimes I think he says *doop* instead of *boop*. The only thing I haven’t figured out yet is whether R. is aware of the massive, slap-you-in-the-face hypocrisy of the protagonist when he gets caught cheating on his wife with another married woman by that woman’s gay husband (who just got home with cruisin’ with his boyfriend Chuck) and then goes home and gets pissed that his wife was cheating on him. ARE YOU AWARE THAT IT SOUNDS AS STUPID AS IT IS, R. KELLY? I demand to know, if only for my own sake.

The CD comes with a DVD that contains the long-form video of the whole cheating saga. I can’t wait to watch it when I get home.

Also bought the new Missy Elliott CD and the new Oasis CD. We’ll see how those turn out.

RAJ OUT.

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James Doohan, “Scotty” of Star Trek fame, died this morning at 85. RIP. He was one of my favorites when I used to watch the old school Star Trek reruns on Channel 24 as a kid.

RAJ OUT.

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[11:08] Fudd1125: yo
[11:09] zachmoneypenny: yo
[11:09] *** Auto-response from Fudd1125: I am away from my computer right now.
[11:35] Fudd1125: yo
[11:35] zachmoneypenny: yo
[11:36] zachmoneypenny: what up g
[11:36] Fudd1125: not much
[11:48] zachmoneypenny: wanna eat soon?
[11:48] zachmoneypenny: i hate my lunch
[11:48] Fudd1125: huh
[11:48] Fudd1125: what do u mean
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: i mean i don’t even want to eat what i made
[11:49] Fudd1125: ha
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: everything in it is gross
[11:49] Fudd1125: that is awesome
[11:49] Fudd1125: what did u make
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: a sandwich
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: a couple of baby carrots
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: a granola bar
[11:49] zachmoneypenny: a pineapple fruit cup
[11:49] Fudd1125: what r u looking for
[11:50] Fudd1125: sounds like my lunch
[11:50] zachmoneypenny: a sandwich that’s not gross, a piece of fruit, maybe some kind of soup, no granola bar
[11:50] Fudd1125: now u are making me not want what i have
[11:50] Fudd1125: it is the same shit
[11:53] Fudd1125: so how do we resolve this
[11:53] Fudd1125: why did u make urself a gross sandwich?
[11:54] zachmoneypenny: because it was the only lunch meat I had in the fridge
[11:54] zachmoneypenny: but right before I sealed it up I saw that the meat had a label that said “Use By July 10″
[11:54] zachmoneypenny: But I bought it after that!
[11:55] zachmoneypenny: It was the meat I bought at the Meridian Safeway last week.
[11:55] zachmoneypenny: Now I kinda don’t want to eat it.
[11:55] zachmoneypenny: It’s kind of grossing me out to think about it
[11:59] Fudd1125: let’s just get a burrito
[11:59] zachmoneypenny: i concur
[11:59] zachmoneypenny: i seriously need to go to the grocery store

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