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Well, the iPhone comes out today at 6pm.  And, because it’s Apple we’re dealing with, there’s no way in hell I’ll actually get one. Not because it’s by Apple, of course.  I like the company, and I’d love to have one of dem phones that do Teh Int3rn3t and stuff.  But I live my life by a credo: never wait in line for shit.

I really wanted a Nintendo Wii when it came out last year, but I wasn’t about to camp out overnight or anything crazy.  My process of buying fancy-pants gadgets I would like: walk into a store that sells one, pick one off the shelf, pay for it.  Due to this attitude I didn’t get a Wii until two weeks ago.  I was walking past EB Games on State Street and saw a hand-written sign in the window that said, “We have 4 Wiis”.  I walked in and said, “Is that hand-written sign true?” “Yes,” the woman responded.  And so it goes.  I can say one thing: Super Paper Mario is a really fun game that evokes old-school Super Mario Bros. (Orig, 2, and 3) while doing a little bit with the 3-D-ness capabilities of the platform…

That was an odd segue, but not completely out of line.

So anyways, the iPhone.  I want one, I’m willing to pay for it, and in all honesty my current phone is getting a little creaky.  All things considered, however, I can certainly wait until I happen to be walking through an Apple Store and see one on the shelf.  That’s the cool thing about having a circle of friends who can barely use a computer: you can’t and don’t impress them with new techy gadgets.  I’m sure that exactly one person who reads this site: me, even cares about the iPhone at all.  But, being a computer guy, I think it’s pretty nifty.  With luck, the entire first generation will remain sold out and I can just get a second gen one in about 8-12 months.  That’s after they fix the bugs.

Spacebee and I are going to Summerfest in Milwaukee tonight. Sugarland is playing at the Harley-Davidson Roadhouse Stage and CMT will be there recording for an August showing.  So, maybe I’ll be on country music television.  I guess.

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Yesterday was the first Big Meeting™ between the Spacebee Family and the Moneypenny Family.  There had already been a Small Meeting™ between Jack and Al, but this one was full-fledged.  We planned a big tailgate for the Brewers/Royals game on Sunday, June 23rd.

I’m glad to say it went off without a hitch.  The only problem was the brutal heat inside the game (more on that below).  Outside it was a veritable cornucopia of fun!  The Lettows brough up a game of washers and beanbags, and we even had a purloined 6′ table for beer pong.  The Freedom Grill was churning out brat after burger after brat patty after burger, and we even brought a 1/2 bbl of High Life for th’ sharin’.

It was an all-fan Bill Hall bobblehead giveaway too, with a select few getting the pink bat Bill Hall in the throwback uniform.  Through a series of shrewd trades I got my hands on the throwback Bill Hall, and he’s bobbling away on my bookcase as we speak.

Once we got into the stadium for the 1:00 game, however, things turned ugly.  The roof was open, and the sun beat down on us without mercy.  Everyone there was horribly sunburned, and when the game went into extra innings there was a faintly audible groan from the collective sellout crowd.  We stayed as long as we could, and then retreated to the cars again for more beer and brats.

Ridiculously, when wwhazz first got into the truck to ride home he chuckled that everyone was so sunburned except him.  “Chumps,” was his sneered insult to those with such sensitive skin that a little thing like 6 hours in the hot sun would hurt them.  Then he passed out.  Upon waking as we drove through Cottage Grove, he was horrified to learn that, in fact, his delicate skin was burned just like the rest of us chumps.  Pffffffffffft.

So now we’ve got about 1/2 of a 1/2 bbl left for Monday NIGHT RAW IS WAR!  Come on over, chumps.

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Today is Flag Day, you undeserving ingrates. A million years ago George Washington and God shook hands and agreed on the following:

1. America is Great
2. No more than 5% of US presidents will fall to assassins
3. You can find low, low everyday prices at Wal*Mart, at the cost of the nation’s soul
4. The flag will be composed of a circle of thirteen stars on a field of blue, and alternating red and white stripes.
1. Except when a dumbfuck state like Texas comes along and joins the Union, then secedes and tries to destroy the Union, and finally is absorbed back into the Union.
5. You can burn the flag to make a political statement, or alternatively you can threaten people who do that with jail time to make cheap political points with the hoi polloi.

So run a gigantic (300 sq. yds. or larger) flag up a flagpole and wave a smaller, cuter flag about in the breeze all day long. I guarantee you’ll go to Heaven if you do.

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I read the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel online edition every morning, and today there were two interesting items.  One has to do with something I talked to wwhazz about last week, and one is another entry in my ongoing cynicism towards home-buying at the moment.

I wouldn’t say that it boils my blood or anything, but it is annoying that the city of Oconomowoc is allowing a Gigantor Shopping Complex to get crapped right into a large field on the outskirts of their town.  Apparently Mayfair Mall is too urban (urbane?) (both?) and the developers wanted to suck up some of that Johnson Creek Outlet Mall fat money cake, so they planned a Mega Mall 30-ish miles outside Milwaukee that would house your usual assortment of Bed, Bath, and Beyonds, Cheesecake Factories, and William-Sonomas.  Because yeah, with gas at $3.65/gal it makes sense to drive 30 miles to eat at an Olive Garden.  Here’s the rub: oops, the city is out of liquor licenses.  Now that makes me more happy than you can know, but apparently there’s evil shenanigans afoot.  As always, laws are only for the stupid, not the rich developers who want to tramp down arable farmland and build another fucking Chili’s.  And while I’m hoping this derails the extent of the project I’m not holding my breath.

Next up, it’s heartening to finally see that Milwaukee area homeowners are getting the picture.  New home listings are sagging, but the gold in the linked article is actually a secondary topic: the fact that most home purchase contingencies these days include clauses about the sale of the buyer’s home first.  This is creating ridiculous “chains” of offers.

“A lot of my deals are four and five people deep,” Buzzell said. “I have sold a property to a lady, whose house I now have on the market, which I’ve sold to a guy, and none of the deals will close until his house sells.”

Hey hepcat, dig that ownership society groove.  Look out below, middle class coming through.

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Two Items: one Important™ and one Dumb™.

We spent Saturday up in Pittsville, WI (where the hell is that?) with the *-kalishes, wwhazz and bellygirl, rumthumb and lawman, and MY BROTHER. Photographics abound; I’ll link to some of rumthumb’s for now and get mine uploaded today. We smoked some roasts in the smoker, watched Cordero melt down in the 9th, and in the morning had a Gigantor Country Breakfast.

[UPDATE] Here’s a link to rumthumb’s gallery of pictures, and here’s a link to my gallery.

The ladies took a ride into Pittsville proper and got themselves some Bomb-Ass hunting caps, beef jerky, two bumper stickers, and a 30-pack of High Life for $20. Nice.

ktk and HADLEY!

There was also a rarin’ game of Bocce Ball. The wwhazz/lawman combo ruled all… again.

Smoked Meats!

The above pictures were all from rumthumb. My pictures centered more on a dog-wrestling match and food porn. Here’s a picture of the dogs playing…

And here’s some food porn for you:

Finally, from rumthumb, here’s a picture of me taking the food porn pictures…

Now, onto all things Dumb™. I guess the last episode of the Soprano’s was this weekend. I dunno, I never watch that show. Apparently a bunch of people went apeshit over the ending, though. Let me cover my eyes and point randomly at one dumb part of the Teh Internet:

The line to cancel HBO starts here. What a ridiculously disappointing end lacking in creativity to The Sopranos saga. But if you’re one of those who found it perversely interesting, then don’t bother to read on. Even if David Chase, who wrote and directed the final episode, was demonstrating the existential and endless loop of Tony’s life or the moments before the hit that causes his death, it still robbed the audience of visual closure. And if it were done to segue into a motion picture sequel, then that kind of crass commercialism shouldn’t be tolerated.

…

Chase clearly didn’t give a damn about his fans. Instead, he crapped in their faces. This is why America hates Hollywood.

This comes from the Me-Me-Me! School of Thought, which states that anything you don’t get is Dumb or Elitist, and anything you don’t like is like having crap thrown in your face? Or maybe pooped directly into your mouth; not sure. It’s unclear why people believe that they (the viewers) get to tell the creators of Art (uh, the artists) how to create said art. Moreover, realize that people are calling to cancel their HBO subscriptions. Take that, HBO! I’m not gonna watch the now-finished show on your network any mo– wait. Notably, thanks to Hollywood Douchebag or whoever this guy is , I know now that a clear dichotomy exists in the art-creator/art-consumer relationship. You either “give a damn about [your] fans” or you “[crap] in their faces”. Noted. You stumblefucks. You cloisterfucking Derrek Lee poopmouths. I’m canceling my internet subscription because this guy’s website exists.

We also saw Ocean’s Thirteen last night. It was ok, good summer popcorn movie, but I saw the ending coming 1.5 hours away. Also, it does a repeat performance from an earlier installation, which helps in calling it. Solid meh. Can’t wait for Superbad.

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We went to see Knocked Up last night.  It is rare that I exit a theater without thinking I’ve wasted part of my life, but there were two reasons that didn’t happen: 1.) I was bored as all hell this weekend and 2.) the movie was just plain great.  I won’t totally spoil it for you (psst: this chick gets knocked up) but the part where people go to Vegas and do shrooms while watching Cirque du Soleil is pretty dope.  Ah fuck it, the whole movie is really dope.  Just go watch the damn thing.

On second though, don’t do it tonight (Monday), tomorrow (Tuesday), or Wednesday though.  That’s when the Fucking Cubs are coming north to play the Brewers at Miller Park.  Gather all of your lucky pennies around you in a heap, and then eat a Four-leaf clover salad with rabbit foot dressing or whatever.  Not necessarily because I think the Cubs will win the series, but because I want to sweep those filthy pieces of shit back to that stink-hole they call home.  And note that I’m not talking about the NotDouchebag fans (like my sweety-pie and her clan) but the onslaught of “WOOO”-ing backwards cubs hat fuckwads that make Miller Park such a shitty place that the Brewers get booed in their own fucking stadium.  I can’t handle that.  I wish I had enough money to buy all the unsold tickets and give them to small children from Oak Creek to Marinette.  Hey Hadley, you wanna go to a baseball game? Grace-o?

So for those that haven’t seen the last few days on Sportscenter, Pinella is suspended indefinitely and Zambrano apologized for punching out his catcher in the locker room.  Ha ha you assholes.  I guess $300 million doesn’t buy quite as much team cohesion as you’d like.  Please, god, just let the Brewers mince the Cubs up into tiny pieces and send them back to the dump of a park they call Wrigley.

Next weekend (from what I gather) we’re all heading up to Points North to kick it with the Kalishes in Rural Splendor™.  I hear they have a porno basement.  I think I’m bringing the smoker with too, perchance we could make some rib-sticking ribs.  At any rate, hurray for Ruralacity.

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First: The Bad News.  I went for a wisdom teeth follow-up check-up yesterday and the doc informed me I have two abscesses.  He informed me that if antibiotics don’t clear it up then he’ll have to go in and re-open the area and clean it out which would be me back at the beginning of the healing process.  Ugh.  Please let the antibiotics work.

While picking up my meds, however, I checked out the new Sundance 608 theater/cafe/restaurant/bar over at Hilldale Mall.  I heard that they were serving Peet’s Coffee (my favorite from my California days) and wanted to check out the digs.  Man, really nice indeed.  The interior is really… comfy, I guess, is how I’d describe it.  Leather chairs, nice lighting.  It made me really want to drive back to my house, get my laptop, and camp out there for a day writing code.  I liked it so much I went and got wwhazz and brought him back there for more coffee and newspaper-reading.

Finally, next week is the second (and final) Cubs @ Brewers series for the season.  I’ve got tickets for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  Monday is spacebee and I, Tuesday is wwhazz and I, and Wednesday is me, spacebee, wwhazz, and bellygirl.  Of course, there’ll be pictures when all is said and done.

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