O Packers, My Packers

Posted on January 23rd, 2008 in Packers, Tha Weekend, Wrestling by whazzmaster

The disappointment was palpable at The 4th Base, where wwhazz, bellygirl, spacebee, timmer, and I watched the Packers fumble away Brett Favre’s chances for glory on a cold and snowy evening in Green Bay. The day wasn’t for naught, we still had a goddamned helluva time celebrating the Old Man’s new career high in “Years Lived,” but a Packers Super Bowl would have been the cherry on top of a whipped cream-covered tit.

The game itself was sad, but we had a ball at The $th Base (dollar sign intended). Free jello shots when the Packers scored, fucking delicious food, lots of booze, and did I mention the goddamned delicious tilapia (twas good, not Bad)? Chocolate cake at the hotel room, and then off to the Magical Wonderland of The Landmark, where we played pinball, air hockey, some alien shooting game, and DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION. We Rascal’d it up for awhile, and then finished off at Vitucci’s (site of my sister’s birthday festivities as well.) We had a Pizza Shuttle Party. Timmer chugged like five $1 Mike’s Hard Iced Teas before we left Vitucci’s and I found him out back of JoCats pukin’ em up seven minutes later. Haha.

So next weekend is the Royal Rumble; who’s in? The week after is the UFC with Brock Lesnar, followed by the Super Bowl. Lot’s of Weekend Cheddah coming your way, whazzmaster.com. Hope you’re ready, guys.

Macworld and Expenses

Posted on January 17th, 2008 in General by whazzmaster

I’ll likely post some pictures from Macworld soon, but for now I’ll say it was an interesting experience and one that I won’t repeat if I can help it. My overall trip was great, though, as I got to kick it with madddddddddd and cal in a posh San Francisco neighborhood and watch the Packer game in Pacifica with GMX, Blaine, and a trippin nuts scientist.

Also, for anyone that needs to do expense reporting through QuickBooks, you might want to check out a little online app that my pals at Esomnie are working on. Check out Paybackable if you interested in trying it out.

HOLLLLAR back whazzmaster.com (woo woo).

Foggy Madison plus Bonus Charter Hate

Posted on January 8th, 2008 in Things I Hate by whazzmaster

My trip to California for business and MacWorld has not gotten off to a good start.

The following was the mail I sent my group mailing list this morning:

Hi everyone—

I’m Zach Moneypenny. You may remember me from such projects as File & Pay, and The Winner of That One Halloween Contest. Well, thanks to (AL Gore’s ominous voice and accompanying Nobel Prize-winning PowerPoint slide deck) GLOBAL WARMING, in the last two days Wisconsin has experienced 55 degree temperatures, thunderstorms, tornados, and layer of dense fog kinda like San Francisco, except it never ‘burns off’.

The ‘punchline,’ as it were: My flight to California yesterday was canceled (along with all others), rebooked for this morning, whereupon it was again canceled (along with all others), and I was rebooked to tomorrow (Wednesday). When asked what I was supposed to do to get to Cali-for-nye-yae for business they offered me a cart, two oxen, and team of 5 stout men to forge a new overland route. I politely declined, as I can technically attend meetings via The Webernet.

Tomorrow morning I’ll make a saving throw vs. weather and see if I can board a mystical flying boat that will get me to my destination: Kansas City, WHICH FROM WHERE I will depart for all points San Francisco.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Midwest Airlines is not on my Happy-With list right now (betcha didn’t know I have one of those). I was supposed to be in Mountain View at noon on Monday. Here we are 4pm on Tuesday and I’m still in my miserable living room. I thought we lived in two thousand fucking eight, where marvels of modern science whisked you among the clouds except, apparently, when those clouds are very low to the ground.

So, if all goes well (it won’t) I’ll be in SFO at 11am on Wednesday, until next Wednesday the 16th. HOLLLLAR at a player if you see him on the streets (or in an airport bar).

Fucking Charter Fucking Communications Can Fuck Themselves

I know. I know. I. Know. Why would I get back into bed with the ass-raping fucknuts after what happened last time? All I wanted was HDTV so I could see the Green Bay playoff games on the fancy-pants TV that I’ve had forever now. They asked if I wanted a DVR for only a few more dollars a month. “OK, fine.” When the guy came to hook it up, he crammed the Tivo-sized unit into a small shelf in my entertainment center. “Is it going to work in there?” I asked, “Because I can move things around a bit.” He assured me that it would be no problem.

After two days the least surprising thing in the universe happened: there was a problem. The unit overheated, blew a gasket, shut down, and hasn’t restarted since. We weren’t able to watch the weekend playoff games, and when we called for someone to come exchange it the earliest was Tuesday (today). They asked us to be here between 5 and 7pm.

I think you all know how this goes. Second (or fucking 7th, I’ve lost track at this point) same as the first…

Friday [Ed note: it was Tuesday this time] comes and goes, no one ever shows up or calls (MISSED SERVICE CALL 1). I would later be told that someone came to my house but I wasn’t there. Funny, I work from home; I was there all fucking day. My cell phone has this feature where I know if someone called. No one called.

Fuck. Charter. Communications. Why in the Fuck can’t Madison have more than one fucking cable company; preferably one that does its motherfucking job without fucking people over with substandard equipment, fucking awful pricing, and motherfucking asshole shitfuck twat-faced cock-sucking cunt-sucking shit-eating motherfucking shitheel ‘customer service.’ Oh, and could we please get a goddamned motherfucking company that shows the football and basketball games of the team from the major college of the town and state in which they fucking operate? Fucking. Assholes.

New Year’s Steve

Posted on January 3rd, 2008 in Uncategorized by whazzmaster

Man, it’s been awhile since I’ve dumped words onto whazzmaster. I’ve been hither and yon across Wisconsin and Illinois since, and had two kick-ass parties here in Madison.

Xmas 2007 came and went here in Madison. Spacebee and I traveled (and traveled and traveled) first to Milwaukee for my sister’s 24th birthday. It was pretty neat-o; I got to see my sister’s apartment in Cudahy, we ate a feast at a strip-mall Thai joint, and then went and boozed it up on North St. down by wwhazz’s old haunt. I drank more than five double Seven & Seven’s, after which I only remember sucking royal tits at darts against dudes Spacebee and I shoulda been whaling on. Upon waking the next morning, we were uncomfortably treated to hearing some child abuse by the downstairs neighbor. Yikes.

On December 23rd we did some Alone Time at a resort in Schaumburg, IL. Yeah, yeah whatever. Aieeshlee hooked us up with an employee rate of $39 since she works for the parent company. I wouldn’t have paid $200 (or even $100) a night at that joint, but it was perfect for $39. For our grande dinner alone, we ate at a Brazilian steak house that was pretty good. Lots and lots of Meat.

Xmas Eve and Xmas day we spent at Spacebee’s parents’ and my parents’ houses, respectively. It was filled with fun, Wass-Ale (a rum concoction by Papa Spacebee), and me winning the 2007 Xmas Ping-Pong Spectacular tournament. I ran roughshod over the competition, but my goddamned title is now in dispute since Al got a new ping-pong net for xmas. Whatever, the net didn’t affect my play. I’ll just win with the new one.

So, onto the kick-ass parties.

Spacebee got me a new dutch oven for Xmas, and I was itchng to use it for a tremendous amount of food. Happily, wwhazz happened to call and ask if I wanted to have the UFC PPV at my place last Saturday. Fuck yes, wwhazz, would you like me to make 10 pounds of jambalaya? Fuck yes, he said (paraphrased). It ended up being awesome in several ways: the PPV was actually great, with the main events in particular being very entertaining. Additionally, the madddddddd scientist and rach-o were stranded so they drove up for the evening as well. Finally, Steven E. (and his Birthday Pal) was in town for the holidays and showed up too. Lawman rounded things out, and we had a good ol’ time of drinking, fighting, two kinds of jambalaya, and probably the latest night out on the town that I’d had in awhile. Also (this becomes important later on) we all left Eroz voice mails. Overall it was a fan-fucking-tastic night with a bunch of unexpected pals from beyond the Wisconsin Borders (not the bookstore).

New Year’s at the rumthumb/lawman place was also terrific. Lawman made a bona fide prime rib roast, and everyone contributed to the night’s revelry. There was much booze, appeteazers, delicious desserts, a wacky throw-up dog, CRAPS, ktk, brian, stories about Tunnel Bob, Happy-New-Year’s calls from my brother and sister, and the crowning achievement of the evening: wwhazz used 411 and an old pal to track down Eroz at his grandmother’s new year’s party. The only thing that could have made it neater was if we had a CIA uplink to the NOC list… or whatever. Eroz’s first question: he heard we talked to Tangman, which was one of the many (many) lies we left in a voice mail the day of the UFC PPV.

Check out the Flickr set for more New Year’s fun. So, what were you guys doing over the holidays? Or, for anyone that kicked it at one of the above swanky affairs, was there anything I missed?

group hug

on his way

Testing Something

Posted on January 3rd, 2008 in General by whazzmaster

Can anyone see this?

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