Wrestlemania XXIV THREAAAAAD~!

Posted on March 30th, 2008 in Antics, Wrestling by whazzmaster

HOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAAAN!

We’re gonna have an old-fashioned, midwest/west coast rivalry here on wm.com (wrestlemania.com?). Wrestlemania ex-ex-eye-vee starts at 6pm Central (4pm Pacific). The free Battle Royal starts at 5:30pm Central (3:30pm Pacific). The Midwest Regional is at Moneypenny’s place in Madison. The West Coast Regional is either at GMX’s place, or at some Swedish Chef’s house.

The Rules

  1. Everyone makes a prediction as to the outcome of the match.
  2. Your pick must be in stone before the opening bell rings.
  3. If your pick is not in by the opening bell, drink a penalty beer or shot.
  4. If your pick does not win, Stone Cold a beer or do a shot.
  5. There must be a pinfall or submission (or knockout, I suppose). If the finish is a DQ, no contest, or if Doink the Clown ruins the match the bet for that match is off.
  6. Side bets are allowed and encouraged.
  7. You can choose to double or nothing any bets for the purposes of tomorrow’s Opening Day matchup between the Brewers and Cubs at Wrigley (ugh) Field.
  8. Post results, side bets, etc. to whazzmaster.com
  9. Flair chops on the scientist are always welcome.

Gentlemen, start your engines…

How Many Ways Can A Man Bleed

Posted on March 28th, 2008 in Brewers, Tha Weekend by whazzmaster

CASH MONEY!

Why no posts, Moneypenny? It’s because you good-for-nothing slugs haven’t sent me any cool links, or started any new memes. At the very least, Scientist hasn’t invented anything lately. No new manifestos, assertions, or lyriCAL medleys. BasebALL SEASON IS WAXING, however, and we’re looking to start the year off strong. Sunday is Wrestlemania: it’s Hercules v Colossal Pete for the World Heavyweight Title-Belt. Monday is Brewers/Cubs at Wrigley, and I’m taking the day off. Should The LyriCAL Genius Madd Scientist and M.C. CAL (with Lady E-to-the-M and Rah-Heezy) show up, they will of course be afforded the center seat on the ol’ couch and a heaping helping of pulled pork, baked beans, and moonshine from Lawman’s still. What’s that? You won’t be coming? That’s alright, I’m sure California is just great this time of years. Schmucks.

That’s OK, I still (kind of) love you guys. In fact, can I sleep on your couch on April 25th? I’m gonna be in San Francisco for nerd shit.

The comments on this post are terrific. CAL’s turtle story, Much Ado About Sonic, Cal’s Law School Troubles (Getting Into One), the epic “double re-love as scientist connects with cal on the comeback. triple word score, homey.” S’all good motherfuckers.

Jesus Christ this website is one gigantic in-joke. Where’s The Old Man?

Bowling Alone… In Texas

Posted on March 14th, 2008 in Wisconsin by whazzmaster

Shorter Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

Oh yeah? Uh… well, we didn’t need your dumb old bowling congress anyways! We’ll build our own amusement park, with blackjack and hookers! In fact forget the amusement park and the blackjack! Aw, forget the whole thing.

Man, I never knew Milwaukee would act like a scorned wife when a wood-paneled station wagon smelling of stale cigarettes and old Funyons rumbled and backfired its way out of town.

On second thought, I guess it does all make sense.