My cat has developed a habit of winking at me.
Knowhatimean?
Monday, May 4th, 2009
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My cat has developed a habit of winking at me.
Comments have been disabled for this post. Sorry!
Kill it
if i had a cat i would name it: DOOM
DOOM CAT!jfjdkfjdkfjdsaklfjdlkfjdlkfjakjfdkfjdkajf jkfjdkfdjkjfdkjfdka jfdkaj kfd jfkdf dkajfd kfjdaflkdjal fdajfd fdjafdl alfjk flfj lkf dalkfjdak flajf alkfjd klfjdlafjd lkfjdalkfjdkfjlfjo irueoireuoiruroieurieuroeiureoirueioru eiuroiqrur eioreuqoiruoirueiorueioruqiourio rueonzvncm,vnc, nv,nvc,vncmzvnc,vncvn,vn,mvnvm.vmzv.zmvzmv.mv.
cat cat cat in the hat cat in the cat madd in the hat cat in the hat madd in the hat cat in the hat madd in the hat tjkjfdkjfdkjfkajfdkjfdkjfdkjfdkjfdkjdkjfkd
* brewers cry *
whazzmaster.com:
a thing on the internet
your cat is wise. when we babysit she knows where to find love and where to find evil. she purrs and sits on my laps as I study. she chins my chin and computer and cell phone. when she sees wwhazz she hisses and hides. she is wise.
ps- where are the pics from the 80’s party?
didn’t the brewers win 4-3? or was it a happy cry?
flicr didn’t exist in the 80s. you can pick up doubles at walgreens.
Never trust when cal clicks the brewers cry button– he doesn’t care one whit about Prince and his merry band.
Also– spacebee downloaded all the 80s pics the other night. I’ll hack into her laptop and upload them to flickr. And by hack, I mean I’ll open it.
It was pretty terrific last night when the pirate pitcher was like “oops, walked the bases full” and the pirate manager was like “no problem, we’re past the tough part of the lineup- no need to get anyone up in the pen” and ryan braun was like “I’ll make my dramatic entrance now” and the pirate pitcher was like “shit” and the pirate manager was like “fuck” and ryan braun was all “BLAMMO!” and then the game was tied.
Later on, Rickie Weeks strode out of the dugout and went KA-BOOM! and then the Brewers won. And then it was CAL who cried.
Harumph- the pics weren’t on there. Maybe tonight.
whoooops, i didn’t even see the monday game, they won anyways. cal is dumb.
* brewers cry *
as the resident fat man, advertising critic, and logical stickler, let me discuss KFC’s new grilled chicken offering.
first off, oprah is giving away a free 2 piece. probably because she hear the first and fifteempf, and knows that people with the same skin tone as her like the 2 piece meal (from popeyes). so they buy the domain unthinkfc.com to encourage people to “unthink” what they know about “kfc”… only problem is they missed a k, so really it says “unthin” which is “to make fat” which is what i always thought. so dumb. cal, can i sue?
anyways, go there and install a coupon printer driver (so very sketchy and unnecessary that i didn’t do it) then print out up to 4 coupons (the driver is the thing limiting it on a per machine basis, but i’m sure you could just uninstall it, but they probably thought of that, so whatever it’s doing is probably really screwing up your system, but enjoy your chicken and 2 sides and biscuit for free!
the F stand for FRIED. you can’t have GRILLED KFC. KFC needs to stop encouraging people to unthin, and do a little thinning themselves. starting with their advertising department.
POPEYES 4 LIFE. and fuck the haters.
one.
shit says managers choice too. so even though the pictures shows leg and thigh and cole slaw and mashers, all those KFC flunkies probably slanging 2 wings with sides of liquid shit.
KFC, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE KFC?!#%#%@#^
I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU ANY MORE. WE ARE THROUGH.
KGC– sounds like something you’d buy in the soviet union. Late brewers game tonight! 6:05 start time, Pacific! Get yourself out into the city and watch the Brewers go for 17 straight against the hapless pirates.
pending wedding suggestion: have it the same week as the sausage race so i can do that. thanks.
*madd cry*
hey losers. you ever see Midnight Express? if not you should see it. here’s the opening couple minutes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfohXqNhCpY&feature=related
that is all.
*finals cry*
hey dude, i’m tired of looking at those boccy (or whatever) balls. can you get that pic to rotate? ROTATE!
Web definitions for rotate:
revolve: turn on or around an axis or a center; “The Earth revolves around the Sun”; “The lamb roast rotates on a spit over the fire”
from the latin: rota meaning “wheel
rotare, rotatus, rota
rotation, rotary, rotor
“The lamb roast rotates on a spit over the fire”
“Madd is rotund. you know, like a wheel; ROUND.”
please add to slogans:
Whazzmaster.com: Rotare Rotatus Rota
that is all.
The lamb roast rotates on a spit over the fire… The Lamb Roast Rotates on a Spit Over the Fire. THE LAMB ROAST ROTATES ON A SPIT OVER THE FIRE!
* brewers cry *
whzahaazy has this dude on his team- his name is asdrubual. check him out:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7947
asdrubrual. hi, i’m asdrubral my friends call me asdrubral.
dude i have to switch to bold cal bc your thing is messed up. it told me it looks like i alreay posted that but it’s wrong, it’s taking over… it’s fucking HAL over here telling me i’m posting too quikc and i already posted that. does it LOOK like i already posted that stuff abotu that dued asdrubrual you computer motherfucker? how would you konw what i arleady posted? you stupid computer brain mother fucker. i will take a screw driver to your main server RAM hard drive terminater 2 BRAIN watch me. now i forgot what i wanted to say. oh yeah: madd is fat
check it out it’s whazzmaster.com:
http://timmullings.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/2001_a_space_odyssey_11.jpg
HAL WON’T OPEN THE DOOR!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcNkMIwolKc
we’re going to have to do this to whazzmaster.com some day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukeHdiszZmE&feature=related
Logged into gmail and got this treat at the top of the page:
Dictionary.com Word of the Day – lugubrious: mournful; gloomy; dismal. – 8 hours ago
*Marcus and Trina cry*
Pennymoney,
You don’t owe anything for craps, but we do have that swine flu bet: The over/under on US deaths (citizen or naturalized immigrant)500 by April 25, 2010.
I got the under, boss. I think you put a reminder in your phone. We were a bit loaded when we made this and chose sides based on blind faith: you in doomsday scenarios; me in the good old Red, White, and Blue.
USA USAUUSUASUSUUAUUUSAUSUAUUSUAUASUSUAUUSUSUASSUSUSAUSAGEUSAUSUAUSUAUSUAUSUA
if cal can graduate from law school, imagine the flunkies sailing through med school.
swine flu deaths by 2010: 8,000,000.
Cal hasn’t graduated.
*Greg Cries*
the nature of influenza altering the immune response is also not clear… if it flips a genetic bit that wont surface for 10 generations, but that 10th generation will have a 100% mortality rate, financially those deaths should be realized at infection time.
stop post dating the option grants and pay whazzman his money. everyone is already dead. you got hustled.
yo cal, swap over to med school while you have the chance. big money in the pig sniffles. BIG.
Our deaths come via WHO not your crazy fightclubish philosophizing.
I aint paying him shit. That iphone will beep and boop and tell him to pay me next April.
WHO already apologized for overestimating deaths. this bet is sketchy.
what is some other flu from 100 years ago made a certain group of people vulnerable to swine flu, so they always die from it… are they really dying of swine flu? WHO will say they did just to back up claims for federal grant money.
the world is corrupt, your bet is LOST. pay up.
it was more of a gatticaish philosophy if you’re unable to rationalize without the help of hollywood.
So far there is only uno and pinning it on the swine is a reach due to other complications. There are a lot of side issues but we don’t need to deal with them. In one year we check the WHO and see the # for US citizens and naturalized immigrants. If it’s over 5 hundo, I pay the man.
Gattica fun fact: I watched that movie with ewhaz.
what do you think about the rumors of shaq fighting liddell? i put the chances at 19% and rising slowly
i say liddell wins in the 2nd via kobe ass taste. prob have to happen in japan.. doesn’t ufc max out at 265? that is dumb. my favorite fights were tank abbott vs an athlete.
You thinking Jose Canseco vs Hong Man Choi? I too like me a good ol’ freak fight, but I doubt it gets off the ground.
wouldn’t it max out at 256 (rather than 265?)
I’M AN 8-BIT FIGHTER! (sing it to Juke Box Hero)
*cal cry*
256 is the 9th bit.
* education system cry *
i think europe does it that way, but they call the bits “stones”. like 11 stone means 1000110101101001 metric pounds.
cal!
cal, you will never be as cool as barney frank.
thanks for playing!
“The government should not interfere with people’s liberty unless there is a very good reason”
not sure i like that… but i’m hootin and-a hollerin all same.
BARNEY, YOU SO CRAZY!
the reason: we’re bored and greedy.
other bored and greedy people: very good.
cal, can i sue?
255 then, 2^8 motherfuckers. After UFC 255, they’ll either have to quit or have Dana spring for that Super Nintendo.
I hate to bet on mortality rates, but there we go. Was that for a twankie? I booked several bets: Over 500 deaths due to Pig Sniffles, Brewers vs Cubs season series, Packers vs Vikings better record at the end of the season. If Favre signs with the Vikes I could be a pussy and try to argue no contest but fuck it, we’ll beat that 90 year old man and his 100 year old arm.
Brewers keep ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN (undertaker bike style). Tonight Cincy’s gonna be like “Stop” and Brewers will be like “No.”
My bed done broke yesterday. You’d think it would have been awesome like when I was having sex, but really I just sat down on it. Good thing that dumb ol’ cat wasn’t under there. Well, that Ikea POS lasted 4 years. Ok, I guess.
“OOh girl your breath is harsh/cover your mouth up like you got SARS.”
Regretting that temporal joke now, Kanye?
21 folds in the clip. make my dick drip.
flippy flip flip. quip
riots and sit-ins while KFC refuses to honor coupons promoted by oprah
WOW. KFC: you are dead to me.
lets get that 2 piece at POPPPPPPPPPEYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEES
popeyes is going for the kill too… i love it. i used to see like 1 popeyes ad a week. now 3 a day. all for their 2 piece boneless meal combo deals for $2.99.
LOUISIANA!
fuck a kfc.
fun fact: i haven’t had fried chicken in months. i’m just a robble rouser.
also, cal sucks
i don’t understand why kanye would regret the lyric? did his moms catch the pig sniffles? does he have SARS now?
Kristy’s shittin’ all over our boy rank on twitter: “@whazzmaster No one chooses Frank Norris over Chuck Norris. No one”
Get her.
That is to say “our boy Frank”. Frank Norris? Remember him? POLLY WOLLY DOODLE ALL THE DAY!
oh, the don.
last night I was playing some online poker and I had a few bad beats so I was gonna close up shop and go to bed. It must have been around 10:30p; when I got up to leave my brother said, “Hey, can you leave that so I can play?”
“On my account?” I said, knowing full well he didn’t have his own account– at least not one with money in it.
“Yeah, if I lose any I’ll pay you back when I get paid on Saturday,” he responded.
I agreed and let him have the computer. We both noted that there was $135 in the account before he started. I then slept, if somewhat fitfully.
When I awoke this morning I was checking some news sites when my mom said, “You know your brother was up all night playing poker.”
“Wow,” I said, “he must have done rather well. Let’s check the account.”
Upon logging on to my Pokerroom account I was greeted with the following:
MY BROTHER LEFT 2 CENTS IN MY ACCOUNT!
the end.
the end.
i wish i could upon log in to my pokerroom account
pokerroom was the shit
hey it’s so late!! *finals cry*
hey i wanted to let you know about this email i got. send this woman your money. she used to me married to a tycoon and something happened and anyway she needs your money. i think if you send her money you will get money back. anyway dude it’s so late! i am like the skeezer! hey look at me whazzing at night like the skeezer bladdy bla bladday bla hey is that a fish on the river? fold!
Dearly Beloved,
I am Lady Ruth Latsis suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to
Sir Silas Latsis,a shipping tycoon notable for his great wealth,
influential extended family, and charitable activities all his life
before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three
decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness in April
17, 2005.
My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help
themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.I can
adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from our wedlock which
never came.
When my late husband was alive he had a lot of investments in the capital
market(stocks and bonds valued at over $5 Million). Consequent upon his
demise this stocks were transferred solely to me.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the
stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.
With this hard reality that has befallen me,i have decided to distribute
this stocks to persons in need,orphanages and motherless babies homes. I
have chosen you as one of the beneficiaries hence,i have decided to give
you $5 Million worth of my stocks and i want you to use this gift which
comes from my husbands effort to better your lot,fund the upkeep of
widows,orphans, destitute, the down- trodden, physically challenged
children,barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped
financially around you. It is often said that blessed is the hand that
giveth.
I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit
this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons
and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested
into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money
will be used in a worldly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold
decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I do not need any
telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and
because of the presence of my husbands relatives around me as i am
currently bedridden in the Family house and do not receive any visitors
unless approved by the immediate younger brother to my late husband.I do
not want them to know about this development in order to safeguard this
bequest.
I have authorized my Private Attorney Gavan Connolly in the UK whom i
communicate with via emails everyday,to issue a Letter of Authority in
your favor to the Security Company handling this stocks and this will
empower you as the beneficiary of this fund,he would also endorse my WILL
where i will include your name as one of my beneficiaries. My happiness is
that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be kind hearted all
through your life.
I want you to immediately contact my Attorney through his email
gavanconnolly001@live.com and provide for him all that he may require to
finalize this arrangement, please make sure to maintain a confidential and
Cordial relationship with him even in my absence because he is a very
Trust worthy and caring person. Please assure me that you will act just as
I have stated herein.
Hope to hear from you soon, it is well with you and members of your family.
Ensure to keep this very confidential for security reasons until the funds
are safe in your posses ion
With Love,
Lady Ruth Latsis
you $5 Million worth of my stocks!! :b :8
WE’RE RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAIT A SECOND… “down- trodden” who hyphenates down trodden? THIS IS A SCAM!
Private Attorney Gavan Connolly checks out.
His fantasy football (UK) skills were recently rewarded with a gigantic check.
http://www.qbeeurope.com/press/mgrmonth_apr08.htm
Major bad luck for Lady Ruth:
“Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.”
in ADDITION to the cancer
The cancer aint SHIT; it’s the blasted stroke. Help Lady Ruth out. She will thank you out the side of her mouth.
Gavin may have blown through that lordly check.
Cancerous problems are a bitch
i like lady ruth, and i feel sorry for her, but her blasted email is too long. i couldn’t get through it. next time, lady ruth, if you want me to follow through with something, make it short and sweet. i can’t follow all that hullablaloo about children’s orphaniges etc. too long.
The letter derives its rhetorical power from the length. Those long winding sentences short circuit even the most logical mind.
not ours: smart enough to ignore the irrelevant. cut losses. like dropping out of law school during last semester.
Guess I gotta make a Brewers cheer button too
Here is a promo for the Super Hulk Tournamnet. It’s a bit long but well worth it. This is a real event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH5B47r9zBg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ebloodyelbow%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded
yo skeez!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBxmck16FhA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Felmarburchia%2Fthe-microcopter-7ve&feature=player_embedded
skateboard mario
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RphNiAH7YN0&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fpeggy%2Fskateboard-mario&feature=player_embedded