Jay Leno == Brett Favre
They’re both old fucks who don’t know when to give it up. The End.
A Short Treatise on Football Players and Comedians
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
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They’re both old fucks who don’t know when to give it up. The End.
you see conan’s ultimatum? if the time slot changes, he quits.
yeah, i think that’s pretty awesome
new internet commenting tool
what will happen to !(@*%^%(*!&(*)&????????
WHAT WILL HAPPEN???!#%^&*(#!^)(&*@$^()*@$^()*
Anytime you think you’re dumb just read random facebook threads on lamebook.com and you will be heartened! Lots of stupid out there, people.
Jimmy Kimmel did his entire show last night dressed as Jay Leno and making stupid jokes. Touche, Jimmy, touche.
just watched ST:TNG “justice” where they we almost get rid of wesley…. shit looked familiar so i looked into it… boom i’ve been there. no nude people though… mainly japanese.
in other wandering around metro LA and later discovering something you love happened there: finally saw tenacious d and the pick of destiny…. every shot of that movie was filmed within about 3 blocks in santa monica, which was 2 blocks from my house, and i walked the dogs along it every night.
movie was so dead on… like 50 guys exactly like KG out every night.
fucking hobos. GET A JOB
afternoon love
Smackadoodles
mkdir: organizational; relational to manila
ain’t nobody harder than my main bitch, willa
can you mount it? i doubt it. ready to peep an attempt.
she gon’ duck and move and get your penis in a clench.
she a hard bitch.
fo sho.
Wwhazz gets back today– got a MMS from him yesterday where he had a bulldog in a headlock, presumably in Florida.
boooooooo why can’t you love the vikings? they are your FRIENDS. plus your packers won a million super bowls and the poor vikings have never won any… they were in the super bowl FOUR TIMES and lost every time… and the last time was like a million years ago. booya chacka!
here is a question, why BOWL? like super BOWL and rose BOWL and bladdyblu BOWL why why why why why why why why?
ps for all you hojo nerds out there hanging out with sarah w on sunday NOT SARAH THE COOK duh! SARAH W! but i would like to chill with sarah the cook if i could. peace out whazzmaster.com
WHEN I SAY MADD YOU SAY SUCKS! MADD… MADD… YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYA
if you were capable of identifying the double meaning unix reference wordplay that i slang with the eazeness, perhaps you would find quality in what i does.
fo real.
vikings:
1) purple
GAME OVER, QUEERS.
Fucking awesome
strictly for the google bots that rule us->>>>>>>>
i hate jay leno
jay leno sucks
booya chacka!
new aziz: “i’m not talking ‘find an apartment’ craigslist… i’m talking ‘give me a handjob and i’ll give you my coffee table’ craigslist………. THAT’S craigslist”
bless u craigslist. bless u aziz. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDY.
yo cal, you going to any of the sf sketchfest shows? like every good comedian in the world is rolling through. i’ll be in the city this weekend, watch out for me. i’ll cut you.
and jesus christ, cal… law degree and you still can’t use wikipedia?
quote:
The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl Stadium, site of the first post-season college football games. The Rose Bowl stadium takes its name and bowl-shaped design from the Yale Bowl, the prototype of many football stadiums in the United States.
and in advertising idiocy today:
WOW CONTAINERS
“every bottom is a top, and every top is a bottom! with 4 different sizes, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!”
they then proceed to show the small set of all possible combinations, half of which are just other combinations turned upside down.
ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!
fuck you wow containers. having an end =/= endless. FUCKING LIARS)!*&#^!#&()
“every bottom is a top, and every top is a bottom! with 4 different sizes, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!”
I thought it was Cal talking about the party he’s going to this weekend.
ZING!
Whizz, whazz!
Whazzmaster.com: Ribbed for Cal’s pleasure
SKOL!
Look, dude:
I like favra. He wins, I’m ok with that.
I hate the state of MN. Vikes lose and maz sheds 10,000 tears, I’m ok with that too.
I, much like Parker Lewis, can’t lose.
Well…
Yesterday I sat down at noon to watch foooseball. Game didn’t start til 3:00, whoops.
Today I sat down at 3:00 to watch fooooseball. Whoop there it is again. Games started at noon.
In A2K football is played on Sunday at noon and 3:00 with the only exceptions being network televised MNF and two games on Whazzgiving.
Skol is chew only in A2K.
I think I just did one of the things that cheeses David Foster Wallace with my “only” placement in that sentence.
the spoon is mine. MINE!!!!! E asked what teams were left in the playoffs and when I got to the colts she says… Well I don’t like THEM. I was puzzelled. I don’t like their name… She says… COATS? Like jackets? What a stupid name. And I agree. Madd is stupid and his COATS are stupid.
wwhazz, the NFL playoffs have gone with the 330, 7pm saturday schedule, and the noon, 330pm sunday schedule for the first two weekends of the playoffs since at least the mid 90s and probably further back. prime time audience=$$$. I remember when sunday night football was owned by tnt for the first eight games and espn for the rest of the season. That was kind of weird.
Yeah, A2K is sliding towards solipsism.
But I think it’s still a pretty good religion.
i was at an old timey hot dog stand named “casper’s” during the vikings game, and the old lady working commented on the rush of business and asked if there was a game on, and some old dude says dallas and vikings… “it’s almost over but dallas was up 17-3 last i saw”
i got so happy that cal was dying… then i get home and find out old people are retarded.
after i win the spoon, i am going to use the shit out of it.
A2K approved?
If you want one, yes. But not for anyone else.
it’s official… madison is more gay than san francisco.
greg reference.
i don’t know if i need lionel’s permission, but i’m releasing a new brand of ocular contact lens care product:
“say you saline”
say youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
saaaa-llllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
clean off your contacts…
that’s the way it should beeeee.
fuck you bauch and laumb or whatever… making your shit hard to spell so fools would be trippin tryin to hate. I’M ON TO YOU.
fuck your renu multi-purpose PISS. say you saline has but ONE purpose: caring for contact lenses.
say it for always.
that’s the way it should be.
how was your birthday madd?
very nice. i got HBO as a gift… naturally.
got a nerd boner for this… main draw: under heavy load it only uses 8 watts, and it’s silent (no fans). IR receiver on the front is nice too…
not sure if i want to pay more for windows 7 or xp, or pay less for no HDD and pick out my own….. but 160GB seems ok. i’d have to get external DVD too, but this one is only $50 and would match it…
thinking mac mini too, but it’s a bit overkill and uses 30 watts under load and has fans, and it costs more, and i’d get suckered into the upgrades because at that point, why not??
i dread figuring out how to get my wireless keyboard and mouse working with it under linux because it took forever on windows……. rach-o gave the de facto go ahead by not giving the absolute “no”, so i’ll probably buy soon.
public spectrum transmitter receiver
smaller than most broadband modems…
burrito
Year 34 begins with a 3.25 6-man sng (leaving .01 in my account) and ST:TNG– the gang just beamed down to a planet and found an… EARTH CASINO. Yeah!
Diabetes commercials are huge sponsors of st:tng.
Warf, quit axing questions and play those chips the hotel clerk just gave you.
Data just hit a 5 card charlie; I just hit trip queens.
Just flopped a baby flush, got the 2nd nut to chase, he missed. Chip leader, 5 left.
trek on commercial
4 left, chip leader.
Trek: A bell boy gets murdered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4.5 (me)
2.5
2
Glymetrol
Liberty insurance for diabetes (Wilfred Brimley, spokesperson)
Some device for measuring blood sugar (wnba lady, spokes person)
Data just told a lady to stay on 13 (dealer showing a 10). Why?
around here the star trek tng ads are all dude chat lines.
The thug called the bellman “baggage man.”
Heads up 5.8 to 3.1 (me).
2nd for me, pushing my account to 6.31.
i’m broke for online poker… waiting for reload bonus… i had 250 in, and they did a $150 max bonus, but i figured i still had enough to play… then i got drunk and lost it all…
$55 ploiter, raped. $60 9 man, raped. sit at $100 cash table… flop T55, i have T5, all in… he has TT. rigged.
i did just get my new ipod nano from them though, and this thing is crazy sweet… no need for further update unless they are adding wi-fi or cell phone…. i’d rather have either than a video camera, but that works very very well.
final commercial: KY jelly
“Heads up 5.8 to 3.1 (me)” is confusing… i’m guessing you meant you had the 3.1… but usually when you say 2 numbers, and then 1 person, you’re saying the name of the person who is in the lead… or were you in the lead?
yeah, I’m winding down online. Very aidsish lately.
I was down. Yeah, confusing.
i’m hearing good things about bodog…
fulltilt… way too rigged.
ub… verified rigged.
ps… treat me bad, so fuck them.
pokerroom…………………..
Tex just called Data a turkey: THEY PLAYING CRAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Data has a great rolling method.
Data fixed the dice, Rikers playing the heater.
next time i am unemployed i will build a poker server to pad my resume with. it will be invite only and guaranteed rig free by me personally.
the rake will be fair to non-existent, and one of the player avatars will always have big boobs. in each update the boobs will get bigger and more revealing. possibly a 2nd set of boobs will develop.
Data won enough to win the entire casino. Weird episode.
win = buy
The boobs need to rise and fall. Big, bigger, bigger, BIGGER… and then small again.
Watched croupier tonight. Not a bad show. Weird, young, skinny, Clive Owen.
Build a nipple line of big pig tits.
The gang is safely back on the Enterprise. I am off to bed. Work in the morn unless Jesus crushes the city with an ice storm (wanger crossed).
the TNG satellite finally locked geo-synchronous orbit over the west coast, and beamed me over a fresh copy of “the royale”.
KOFY is so kind. they are just like super18… but to watch it on cable it was 9B… i guess B is like 2 if A is 1, and 9B would be 18… but anyways, it’s seems less than ideal to have a number in your channel name that isn’t the numerical receiver channel for the programming…
KOFY takes this to another level… “44 cable 12″… only problem… on my cable they are on channel 13, then again on 133, then again in HD on 713. no 44s, no 12s.
for a long time they had no self produced content other than showing man on the street type clips of people wearing headphones, seemingly playing music, while the man on the street would tone-deafly sing “44 cable 12″… only problem is most people are chinese or cal around here, so they all say “fo-ee-fo cay-bow twelb”…. so even more points for KOFY there.
but now they have this idiot on a set that looks like it was from a 1980s PBS telethon and he talks about the current comedy festival in town… but he keeps talking about conan coming and how big a deal that is, but conan canceled weeks ago when his drama flared up… so either these were all pretaped weeks ago, or this guy is in a bubble. it’s all the more odd that he only showed up when the comedy fest started and that’s all he talks about and he still gets pretty big shit wrong, that might incite legal claims of bait and switch while they keep advertising conan will show when he won’t.
“KOFY TV IS LOCAL JUST LIKE YOU!”
presumptuous.
also, only font they use for self product: comic sans sarif.
professional.
sarcasm.
i’m watching “schindler’s list” on HBO Latino…. hilarious.
ST:TNG note: at the beginning of “the royale” picard nerd’s it up a bit and talks about fermat’s last theorem and how it’s gone un-proven for hundreds of years…
only problem: a proof was released in 1993…. quickly debunked for some reason, then adapted in 1994 and consensus in the math community is that the proof is complete.
you timeline is flawed picard.
also, data used contractions when using them wasn’t part of the plot many times…
LIARS)!*(%&)(&#!^
just realized KOFY changed to “TV20 Cable 13″…. after a year of promotion getting everyone in the bay to sing “44 cable 12″……… so dumb.
KOFY is dumb, ST:TNG is dumb. fermat was dumb.
cal graduated law school with honors.
i still believe there is a prime generating function… only not one that is will take in n and give you the nth prime number, but you give it multiple keys that lead out like branches and branches randomly exhaust themselves of further potential. i’m guessing the steps will involve changing number base, and the next step creation function will utilize digit values.
so sure you can’t get the next prime easy, you can just figure out how to compute the next stage of keys, and only process the first key and keep going out as far as you can go, and then you’ll be guaranteed a gigantic prime.
i would have liked to have heard fermat explain the proof… the math is not elegant. the triangle solution doesn’t make sense to me. i’d like something like “the sum of 2 numbers to the nth will always have this characteristic, but never this characteristic, while a single number raised to the nth will never have this characteristing, but always have the other characteristic, then you can show the numbers could not be equal.
instead they solve it for a single variable and then break down all potential cases, initially ruling out multiples of 2 and non primes. so it still might work for odd primes, so how about any odd prime of the form (2x -1), then 3x-1, then 4x-1 etc… but that methodology will obviously always leave holes of the elusive next biggest prime. eventually they ruled everything out i guess.
so ca toa