I re-updated the blogroll (on the right sidebar). Wwhazz alerted me to the fact that he found it helpful to have prominent links to The People’s Champ, Arlo’s Bloggity Bloggity BlogBlog, and others.
Additionally, our old pal Big Al opened a new web site at http://blog.mlbsecrets.com that has up-to-date info on all the latest baseball rumors. Example: yesterday I looked and found out that Ben “Fucking” Sheets worked out for ten (10!) interested teams the other day. I assume that he will sign for a hojillion dollars somewhere and then NOT get injured, thereby completing his unusefulness to the Milwaukee Brewers. It seems like it’s a good time to leave a Wisconsin professional sports team and then get fantastically good again.
Wwhazz’s birthday was this week, as was madddddddd’s, as was manders’. As is alandovos. Basically everyone I know: Happy Birthday. Wwhazz and bellygirl went out to dinner and snapped a picture of the all-time best bar special ever. Ever. I hope they don’t mind me reproducing it here:
The Best Bar Special Ever
pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Holy moley there is some serious RAIN around here. We might get a season’s worth in two weeks. It is totally awesome. Drought killing rain my friends. Rain rain rain! Pants on the ground! I missed wwhazzy bday! I missed madddddds bady! Sorry pals I am a self centered dude and ilm sorry, pals.
god bless the EL NINO!!!! Rain Rain Rain I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from,
cal
ps prince wrote a vikings cheer song the other day and it is truly terrible. Somebody find it on youtube and post a link. Dink. So if that makes you dummies feel better I don’t know.
Glad u reproduced the photo. Immediately when we saw it wwhazz said, “send this to whazzmaster and brian”. i shared it with pea pods as well for shits and giggles. thanks for hanging out with the old man last night and for making us late night tacos. glad we got to hang out with you two before you left for the weekend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDs3U9IeYg0&feature=player_embedded#
god damn it… i was coming here to post the link. touche.
yo cal, tomorrow night i’m rolling down to amanda and fudd’s for a party… it’s not too late to not suck forever.
NOT.
wait. It’s not not to late for me? Wait. YOU SUCK. (not). I SUCK. (not not) I don’t suck. (not)
fuck the jets. fuck cal. fuck the spoon. fuck PG. fuck everything
to =/= too
all you spoon haters can suck my cock.
fuck a favre. i dare you to make it to the superbowl. all the sweeter when i send you home via waiving my new spoon away from wisconsin.
mother fucker took our money, took our women, empowered our enemy, and then further sold out with snarky television advertising during nfl games.
perhaps you can take him in, cal. after he is all used up. maybe you guys can sit around and make out and DREAM about MY SPOON.
No. Seriously. Look at this hat! That’s a swell hat.
REVEL
REVEL!
damn you vikings haters! You made us lose. I have nothing. Not a spoon for which to slurp my soup nor a provincial feelings of good tidings. I HAVE NOTHING except an awesome and a photograph of me wearing the hat; also photographed in the photograph? Strange expression. This calls for the semi colon? Doubt it fuck heads. Finally, I wish dor peace and love and how about that super long video game ad tonight? Was it five minutes or what? I wanted it. Like the championship spoon, however, I aint going to get it. But madd aint won it yet, you piece of crap I hope ur lousy coats get blown out. I digress; YOU SUCK.
From,
cal
that was no typo, I called them the lousy coats. The rest of those typos, however, were typos. YOU SUCK.
i am HOV
you are NOTHING
SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON. SPOON.
best pop-culture of the week:
stephen colbert’s: ‘010, pronounced “oh-ten”.
say A2K catches on… worldwide… obviously this will happen. consequences: all dates will be relative to one, so that date will serve as a baseline.
it’s just like Christianity but backwards. perhaps our holy lord should be born on january 6th and he spends 6 days resting and builds the whole earth on the 7th using that which was realized to him during rest?
you know, for kids.
yo homeboy, i tried to look look look at the hat, and it doesn’t work. blank screen. no hat. no no no hat. no hat hat hat. bbq
I apologize, my good man. Nice hat!
So,,,, where should I mail the spoon?
1. “6 days resting and builds the whole earth on the 7th using that which was realized to him during rest”– YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Looking very Cusakish in that hat, pal.
3. Spoon bylaws. From my poorly thought out ramblings:
Each of you pee holes (madd, girl player, cal) picks ONE team. If your team wins the super bowl, you win. If you all lose, you all lose and the skin carries over. If you tie, you all lose and the skin carries over. I don’t think zach will pay the beer or spoon, so I will take over the sponsorship duties for this season and give you an interim spoon and the beer must be camo high life. I’m not paying to ship it though, so you can have it at zach’s wedding. (or zach can give it to rash guard next time he’s in IL). Zach’s spoon and beer will carry over to next year.
Got it? If not, hire a lawman. Cal might be of help. He got a c- in contracts first semester.”
I could care less if Leno, Conan, and Letterman all rubbed kunts and gave each other aids, so I haven’t been following this thing, but the blogs must be screaming rigged, right?
Like, Conan’s hissy fits are about as real a professional wrestling. In a real job, when you part ways (esp if it’s ugly), it’s pack your shit and security escorts you out the building. No way a tapped tv show would allow a dude to get on there and freely shit on the company. Sure they would do it to milk some publicity and gain some eyeballs, but I’m sure the severance package outlined some rules.
JOW.RIGGED.BS.#ERTSD^&REFEUGJD……CAL
What isnt rigged? WGN is all that comes to mind.
the conan can say what he wants stipulation is also the only thing i spent more than 1 brain tick on too…. i watched the final conan tonight show episode… first one i ever watched, and i’m a fan. never watched any of the new leno show and won’t watch any of the new new old leno show.
obviously part of the deal was that conan HAD TO SAY that he was allowed to say anything.
NBC knows that he won’t go nuclear on them because he’d look like he was whining and lose support from his fan base. strong play by them. also, any real rant would get censored anyways and feel like a lame joke, and any rant that didn’t use the phrases “muppet kunts”, “horse fuckers”, or “jews” would seem like he pulled punches and make him look weak.
he could start his own internet distribution show with the settlement money. tom green already has. it works. infrastructure that enables shows like his to be profitable is already in place though, and it doesn’t involve the internet.
infrastructure that enables shows like CONAN’S….
ie: broad viewership, freely distributed, thinking man’s comedy.
yeah mr. rabbit i’d like to have some carrot pie with you!
http://www.collegehumor.com/video
eff.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928318
also, i am in talks with KOFY TV’s sales promotion director to host “ST:TNG RETRO NIGHT” at a too be determined future date. the next retro night will be screening “mission impossible”… i said i wasn’t interested unless i could say “sounds like tom cruise talking about jesus beating xenu is a fist fight!” then i also said i’m generally against casting couch physical activity, but i have made exceptions in the past when i felt a spark.
i am SO in.
cal + hat would be better though…
OH SHIT, OH SHIT….
NEW CAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
cal, i can outlink you all day. ALL DAY.
live updates on the new iDick release
ITS A DICK!#^)*&!#^)(*!*)(_#^
I would like to point out that:
a) The MLB app looks fucking terrific
b) When the demo’d it the brewers were playing the giants and they were WINNING. This augurs well for the new year
c) Two weeks til pitchers report
Anyone else think that jeff bezos is throwing shit around an office right now?
I think he’s blowing greg right now.
Real pissed I dragged my feet on registering for the world series of poker blogger edition or whatever the fudge it’s called on stars. I think we could have convinced them to let me and madd and zach all play as wm reps.
Maybe not though. I’m a week into a month of tape on the mouth for:
“real kunty, sir. very aidsish.”
One one hand, you can say: what is the matter with people that say things like that. But on the bigger, stronger hand: what is the matter with people that tattle on people that say things like that?
Kinda pissed that I let that one slip. I had been subbing h1n1 for aids and the man seemed ok with it.
Still looking for a K-bomb sub. Maybe I’ll just use muppet.
muppunt?
Or maybe silly black cat in a green hat
You muppunkt. You silly black cat in a green hat.
That cat photo at the top of the page would make a nice stars avatar.
1. The chris lee link doesn’t work
2. I’m enjoying mlb secrets.
Sheets went to the A’s. I woulda welcomed him back though. Enjoy, greg.
Speaking of secret goldfish… SALINGER DEAD!
Wow, thanks for the news. I guess this moves Harrison to the top of the list as my fav living writer, though he too does not look long for this world:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/images/200810/harrison_330.jpg
Catcher in the Die
i hold the title and you are the challenger
A new challenger has been found…
Nine Stories (About This One Dead Guy) ft. ODB
New topic: gym craps.
Supplies:
dice
gymnasium
running shows
cash money
Instructions
It’s just street craps except you whip the dice from midcourt. They must hit the wall. I’d say full court but I’m not sure tiny dice can be tossed that far. After tossing, run up, check the numbers, get paid. A great workout and great fun.
YO TOD G, FROM THE NSA… I AM ON TO YOU!
I’ve got more stories than JD’s got Salinger
#)^(@!)#(^*!#^)( hallway blocked by packages from organize.com
the irony only further congested my path.
My craps post got et!
Uneated
Running shows?
Back to gym craps:
New topic: gym craps.
Supplies:
dice
gymnasium
running shows
cash money
Instructions
It’s just street craps except you whip the dice from midcourt. They must hit the wall. I’d say full court but I’m not sure tiny dice can be tossed that far. After tossing, run up, check the numbers, get paid. A great workout and great fun.
Wow, it eted it again. What seems so spammy about my cool ass game? Probably google ads stealing it.
To see my game, travel back to January 28, 2010 at 4:57 pm.
My gawd Bobby Lashley is fighting MMA this weekend against Wes Sims, a drunken semi-homless fighter best know for getting DQed against Frank Mir because Sims stomped on his face.
Sims is the third choice of opponent. The first two were rejected as not competitive enough by some 1/2 ass athletic commission.
Quote from Sims:
…”If I drop him with a one-two and he’s laying on the ground. You can bet your ass I’m going to Hogan leg drop his ass.”
Good luck, guy.
Hershel Walker is also fighting on the card. And Nick Diaz. I’d watch this.
I DO NOT LIKE THE DICE GAME.
eventually someone is going to accidentally slide into the dice and bump the shit and fools will be reachin for steel talkin bout they saw a 4 and other dude saw a 5 and wigs be gettin SPLIT)(@#*^!)#(^!_*()
i got 2000 on the hard 8
That’s why you got to be FAST. Bust it down there to make sure it’s legit. This game makes you fast, fit, and rich.
Maybe I’ll add some sort of big felt catcher box on the wall so the dice can’t fly around so crazy.
Hooooooooooooooogan!!!!!!!!
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/new_hulk_hogan
shouldn’t it be “outside OF the ring?”
AHHHHH!@#%(*^!#(%*^ RUN IN!
it’s….. ITS….
BY GAWD, IT’S THE MIZ*!#^&)(#!^&)*^)(@*^#!
what’s this? he’s asking the hulkster to smell his fingers…. by gawd… BY GAWD LOOK AT THE SCREEN! HE WAS BACKSTAGE FINGERING BROOKE HOGAN!
PUPPIES!
THE HULK SMELLS IT! he can tell! HE CAN TELL!!#^*(&!#)(&!#^
LEGGGGGGGGGGGG DROP#!^&*)
sunday is the $1,000,000 turbo takedown… sunday at 2:30pm central. 3,000FPPs to enter, lots of satellites. get in that shizzzzzzzz
Trek time!
Yesterday’s was real weird. Troy did some dude and then did some porno aerobics with Bev.
Space. The final fronteir these are yoyages of the star trek enterprises its contfohjlkdhsklhndciusbhdiuslbwck
Levar Burton as… my hero
I only have like 300 points– tough to win 3k off that.
Timmers got around a K, so I’ll see what he’ s up to.
I played a 70pt qualifier for the Sunday 1/4 mil. Won the ticket and unregistered, giving me 11 in tickets. I played 2 $3 45 mans and 2 $2.80 180 mans.
I got 1st in one of the 45ers for 40$, 6th in the other for like 9$, and 13th in one of the 180ers for 6$.
That gave me 55.
I took ten to a cash game and doubled it, but then played 2 $6-6 mans and farted out of both, heater over, but I still got like $50 made from air.
New best commercial: Cancer Treatment Center of America. A sweet franchised cancer shack. Fucking peggy gives her tearful testimonial how they cured her but the small print at the top of the screen says: You should not expect to experience these results.
Holllarit to that!
Then why advertise these results, you dik holes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riker just turned down poon.
Give me Yar and beardless Riker over Worf and the scratchy face.
Greg’s getting married this weekend. Are there any objections to this union?
That Hogan, miz, King, JR, Brook scene skeezer wrote is golden.
HE CAN TELLLLLLLLLLL
Final commercial break.
CiCi’s pizza, what a bargin. Golden Corral, what a bacon wrapped bargin. Two places I’ll never go to eat. Geico, what a baring. No thanks. Jackson Hewwit, no, no no. I got timmer. Vonage, no. Diamonds, no. eharmony, no. Olive Garden, no. Pillsbury rolls, fine. And we are back.
They just ran a test of the emergency alert system during the climax.
Now who killed Penthar Mall?
Back on– it was Utah, the chick who tried to do beardsie.
Bob and Tom chase me right to bed.
Sorry to everyone who got sexted last night
No worries. I freely take questions about my nips 9:30-11:00 M-F and 10:00-1:00 Saturdays. Closed Sunday.
Holler if you want to play tonight– Want to watch fighting? I’ll buy you a month of Showtime if you let me use your telly. I think you would enjoy the Strikeforce experience. It’s more WWE-y that UFC, more fire works and goofy announcing and back stage crap. Tonight you got Bobby Lashley, Hershel Walker, yes the grandpa footballer, and Nick “Fuck the World” Diaz.
Also, it’s real easy to get an illegal showtime feed, so we can just watch it on the computer too. I’m not sure how it works but I just go to a fighting website and enter the live chat they have up. Some pal always links to a feed.
Well, this looks ok to me! Some IL lottery/ Chi Blackhawks air hockey tournaments. I’m going to at least one:
http://illinoislottery.com/BlackHawks/Events.htm
Hershelisn Jiu-Jitsu: Hershel Walker’s new fight style
it’s odd that such vividly intended imagery can come from such coarse text. i could book.
That should have been Hershelian Jiu-Jitsu. I was drunk. It’s still funny,
and now, a whazzmaster.com original series…..
……………wwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Sure am glad I didn’t drive down to IL for one of them air hockey tournaments. It would be cool to use my powers to win a giant $500 check,http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4058320&id=83652342325, but two seconds of investigation revels it’s a GD sham.
What they do is set up a rinky dink POS table they got on clearance from Walmart, hire a few hookers in pink shirts, then put on the worst tournament ever.
They RANDOMLY select 32 drunks and let them slap the toy around for 2 scores or 2 minutes and then move to the next round. Finding these stupid rules took longer than I care to admit.
Why can’t anyone ever do a good job with something? This stupid game has the backing of the IL Lottery and the Chicago Blackhawks and this is the best that can do? Get a real table. Run a real tournament. Fuck the IL Lotto, fuck IL, fuck cheap air hockey tables, fuck that stupid grin on the stupid Blackhawk on the logo, fuck cal, fuck facebook, but most of all, fuck ray stikowski for winning that shit on my birthday.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4058320&id=83652342325
Try the link again.
that shit smelled shady from the start…. a hockey team using air hockey for promotion… way too gimmicky.
Yep, very kunty.
neighbors apartment flooded today… right across the hall… like 2 inches of whatever was constantly pouring out his front door for over an hour. i sand bagged the shit out of my shit.
fun fact: THE EXACT SAME THING happened at our last apartment. that dude was way more pissed. he was so pissed i instantly stopped caring. let him be pissed.
bitches be floodin……..