Whatta Weekend

Spacebee's Birthday Hat

It was quite a celebratory weekend here in Madison; we pretty much partied straight through from Friday at 5pm when we set out for a fondue dinner of epic proportions.  Three hours later I was filled with tiny bits of boiled meat, veggies, and chocolate-covered rice krispies.  We met a few pals and then dove into more celebrations, and long story short I woke up Saturday morning not feeling the greatest.

A Spacebee coworker was retiring and had a bash at the Hilldale Great Dane on Saturday.  Free beer from 4pm until 7pm started things off, and I hilariously fell asleep at wwhazz’s with a beer in hand around midnight.  Hey: two consecutive party nights don’t agree with my 31 year old bones.  So sue me.

Alas, I think the Iowa trip has been delayed.  Consolations to belly for her loss, and hope everything goes well next weekend.  Diamond Jo will always be there, and I’ll be ready to stick my finger in the small of his back and whisper “gimme everything you got.”

I’m super behind on TNG on my DVR… need to sit down and catch up. I saw that Time’ Arrow is on there and excitement can’t describe my feelings.  HELP A FORTY NINER! HE’S GOT A BAD COUGH! OH NOES, AN ALIEN STOLED HIS LIFE FORCE! GUINAN, HALP! TIME WARP! PICARD IS A DANDY FOP! DATA IS A FRENCHMAN! SAMUEL CLEMENS OF THE 24TH CENTURY!

Settle for a Slowdown

Peninsula State Park

After an extremely busy holiday-and-January things have slowed down a bit (which is just fine by me.)  February was marked by a hectic work schedule, and even that’s starting to subside so let’s have some fun!

First on the docket: WIZP!  Lately I’ve really gotten back into Street Fighter IV.  What with Super Street Fighter IV coming out in April and the new MvC Fight Stick that Jay procured last week, I’ve been laying down a shitload of hadokens and shoryukens.

So shoot, what else. Whatelsewhatelsewhatelse.  Tattoos! We will all get tattoos of our rad name.  What is our rad name? SuperAwesomeCalsForever? That’s MY idea.

I’m looking forward to two things at this point:

1. Iowa trip (with additional guest appearance by my brother)
2. Vegas trip (because we haven’t been in a long time)

…and you can take that to the bank, Shakesman.

Spacebee’s birthday is this weekend. Wish her a happy birthday, Cal.  Or else.

Downhill From Here

Zach & Stacy at Big Powderhorn

Well, we got back safe and sound from Da Up North, Eh?  Had a ball in Bessemer with spacebee and the family.  As I mentioned earlier, we were afforded the unique opportunity to watch The Super Bowl at bucketheads in uptown Rhinelander.  They had $1.50 Miller Lites and free Hores Durves set out in back.  I drank three buckets of Jameson and then Stacy drove us ‘home’ to the Quality Inn.

I goddamned hate Super Bowl commercials.  “Here’s a talking (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s a wacky man-child (verbing) a (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s Tim Tebow, don’t get an abortion or prenatal care!”   Eat shit, Tim Tebow.

I skied for three days and fell down three times; that’s a shitload better than last year and I consider it a resounding success.  Let the mountains ring with God’s graciousness and ma-jest-fucking-ty!  We also returned to the infamous Pub N’ Grub for Thursday night karaoke.  All the old pals from last year were there and, again, by the end of the evening I was Marcus-n-Mcteague’n it with all of them.  Six dollar pitchers of Miller Lite and Jameson shots will do that, son. On the way back home I desperately wanted to go to (in order) the Watersmeet casino, the Lake of the Torches casino, and Ho-Chunk.  By the time we got south enough to consider Ho-Chunk, however, I just wanted to sleep on the couch the rest of the day. So… no Ho-Chunk.  I still owe wwhazz a night at the Canfield for his birthday, though, so anyone that wants in on that is welcome.

Wwhazz, thanks for doing our cat for a week.

There’s not a lot of upcoming events here at Whazzmaster Central– spacebee’s birthday is at the end of the month and at the same time (coincidentally) as my Yearly Start of Daily Wishing It Would Warm Up Already, Dammit.  I got her a birthday gift: The Big Minnie. Black. Clean. Tight Curl. Turquoise bead wrap.  Now that I look at the description that way I can’t decide whether I bought her a hat or a dildo. Say lah vee.

I really, really gotta get TNG on the Tivo.  We’ll make a space for it amid Spacebee’s ten thousand episodes of Criminal Minds.  There must be some room in all that serial killing for Data’s quest for humanity or Troi in a skin-tight leotard.  I assume that somewhere in history someone has already made a joke about a leotard being a retarded leopard, but the word still looks weird when I type it.

Pickles and grapes!

Leave a Message

I’m in a Rhinelander motel right now, watching super bowl highlights and drinking continental breakfast coffee. We’ll be in the UP for the week with my family; net access will be sketchy so I hope y’all have a ball.

My thoughts on the SB: love that the saints won and thought calls like the onside kick and 4th-and-1 at the goalline were awesome calls you don’t see often in the super bowl. We listened to the first half on Chicago AM radio and watched the second half at Bucketheads bar in delightful uptown Rhinelander, which was fun as shit.

Get along little doggies.

A Short Treatise on Football Players and Comedians

Jay Leno == Brett Favre

They’re both old fucks who don’t know when to give it up.  The End.

Thank You Jay

This is really good. You should watch it. Happy New Year. Also, I’m a-cookin’ a-somethin’ up. I’m just waiting on some tech support issues to be resolved.

My Saturday

Today I spent an hour at Garys Hobby Center and then ate a sub from Lee’s Deli. All in all a great experience!

The Door’s Almost Shut

We’re approaching zero hour on 2009 and I couldn’t shrug my shoulders harder if I goddamn tried.  Work is busy and I’m attempting to purchase trinkets for everyone I know by next week.  Me and spacebee and belly and wwhazz ate at Pedros-Pedros-may-keen-mayx-ee-can the other night after a night of shopping.  It was a grand ol’ time, especially that deep-fried Snickers bar for dessert.

Not much goings-on elsewhere so I’d like to frankly discuss the 1964 classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  Thusly: it’s not entirely clear to me just what drugs the creators were using, but I salute them and their efforts.  In a story ostensibly about the titular reindeer the spotlight instead falls upon (a) an elf desperately seeking a career in dentistry and (b) a north woodsman with a revolver hanging from his belt that clearly has mental problems.  It seems to me that the writers wanted to craft a different story entirely but were forced by the General Electric corporation to adapt their lunacy into a framework descended primarily from a one minute Christmas tune.  I don’t know whether the coercion took the form of ducats or whippings– the result is the same.  Also: everyone really hated that fucking Rudolph.  They just shit on him and shit on him until he saved the goddamn day.  He should have pooped in Santa’s mouth.

For those not on the spacebook, my concise review of How the Grinch Stole Christmas:

Zachery Moneypenny feels that the grinch was right to hate those whos- did you see the lunatic instruments they endlessly played?! How bout this: I’ll buy your downstairs neighbor a musical abomination consisting of a bowling ball, a huge metal pipe, and CHIMES and we’ll see if a steampunk xray machine detects any heart shrinkage on YOU.

I have nothing else to say about that shit.  Let’s all get together some Thursday night and watch star trek dvds.  I have one season on dvd (five, I think?) and can provide whiskey.

Everyone else out there: HAVE A GODDAMNED MERRY XMAS!

SNOW!!!1!WATCHOUT

Yo ho hello there go to San Ho and do a show there.  I picked an excellent week to fly hither and yon around the country as Wisconsin is currently experiencing some heavy snowfall and all-around miserable weather.  I’m sitting high and mighty in the comforts of the Palo Alto Crowne Plaza, sipping Crown & Cokes and watching Sportscenter on the ridiculously lavish 25″ old-timey, non-flatscreen tee vee. I feel BAD for my betrothed; she’s shivering in the cold while I’m chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool.

Madd:  Saturday? I haven’t heard from you yet.  We could galavant into San Francisco and take Cal hostage on the N-Judah.  Stick your finger in his back and whisper menacingly “I’ve got a knife” and then march him down to McTeague’s Steam Beer Saloon and fill him full of spirits.  Flossie can come too.

Old Posts, New Friends.

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING MUST CREDIT WM.COM

Exciting news!  I’ve been officially added to another Enemies List! More details as they become available…