Election Day Jam-Bo-Ree 2008

Spacebee and I got to the polls at 7:45a and found extremely long lines.  They did some rejiggering though, and we only ended up waiting an hour.  Yesterday I hung door hangers down on Langdon to tell those frat dudes where they could vote.  Today I knocked on doors around Mifflin to tell people (a) today is voting day and (b) go up the street to vote.  Three quarters of the people I talked to on my route had already voted: nice. I took some video with my weird little video camera and I’ll be testing my iMovie Skillz later on. Look for an update with an exciting video of me walking down the street.

I know a lot of you jerks don’t like government, voting, passion about anything non-wrestling-or-poker, or just anything in general but fuck you anyways.  I don’t want to live in a world run by lunatic Republicans anymore.  Here’s an interesting map you can use to see the results:

I’ll be at a results party tonight drinking scotch. If Obama wins I’ll be happy that that dumb motherfucker and his kind aren’t running this place anymore. And if McCain wins I’ll probably break the bottle and slit my wrists. Happy Election Day!

YUNG JEEZY

This is pretty funny, and it is made by the guy who was in that one show.

A ScottStorm Blew Through Here Last Night…

So there I was, minding my own, when I find out that we were gonna take “San Heezy” “for sheezy” or something. Before long fuddruckus, the Good Doctor, and myself were headed down San Hoe-zay Way to see what our old stompin ground looks like after a few years sans 4nyay and maddddddddddddddddd. The answer: less pee in bushes, but more holes in the ground.  Less broken bongs all over the sidewalk, but more fuddruckus talking smacky to the largest bouncer I’ve ever seen (except that 7′+ guy at Off The Hookah in Sunnyvale, dude could have been Andre’s cousin or some shit).

Scott also talked me through Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior and it was less painful the second time around. Then he wanted to watch Beerfest but it was 4am and I passed out.  O lucky day! Soon we’re headed up Pacifica Way to rendevous with Grand Masta Caspa. I’m also doing a delivery of some of my furniture.

Finally, spacebee and I richard-hatched an evil plot for this week wherein I’ll fly down to San Dog on wednesday night and work from the San Diego office thursday and friday so’s I can enjoy the evening activities with wwhazz, belly, and spacebee. Hurray for evil plots!

Finally, I want one of those three button things. I also want the big knob you can use to turn shit.  Anyone out there looking for XMAS IDEARS, there are two.  By the way, Bill O’Reilly said this weekend that if the Democrats regain control of Congress, their first order of business will be to make Christmas illegal.  Is someone going to ever control that freak’s meds, or do we just have to wait out an overdose?  XMAS IS ILLEGAL YOU WILL GO TO JAIL IF YOU WRAP A GIFT!

–seeya sheila

Old Fashioned

I’m back in California, and I have some advice for you. It sounds like the kind of advice a 3 year old would give a full grown adult human, but listen carefully anways: clean your goddamned house before you go on a two week vacation. The last thing you want to do is come home, sigh (NOT DREAMILY), and start to clean up a gigantic mess. To my credit, I did all my dishes, cleaned my kitchen thoroughly, and took out the trash before shipping out, but that isn’t enough. NOT BY A LONG SHOT.

At any rate, technology thieves notwithstanding I had a fantastic time in the Double-Yoo Eye and I can’t say enough about Spacebee and Mee-Gan’s hospitality. They let me hobo up their new home for a week without complaint until sometime on Wednesday or Thursday Mee-Gan asked Spacebee, “Don’t you think it really smells in here? What is that?” (Psst– I think she was talking about me.) I got to go out on CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS~! with KVR, o’neil, and rumthumb (though rumthumb was absent the second night). Good times.

This post is about my new favoritest restaurant not in Madison, not in Wisconsin, but in the whole wide world. I want to eat every meal there. It’s that good. The restaurant is The Old Fashioned on the capitol square. I invite you to take a gander at their food menu. It is gigantic and good. Spacebee and I attended a meal there with KVR, o’neil, and a gaggle of KVR-Friends on Thursday night and it was the bees knees. I had my first landjaeger sausage (delicious), 3 old fashioneds (delicious), a lazy susan of meats and mustards (delicious), a plate of wisconsin cheeses (delicious), and a swiss’n'cheddar grilled cheese with bacon (oh god). Spacebee had a gigantic plate of pork (also good). Honestly, I see no reason to hate the place. My view: they take everything that is wisconsin and present it to the world. I can definitely see people going there and not getting it. I think it’s a rorshach to see if you grew up in Wisconsin. Blatz on tap. PBR on tap. Lots of little wisconsin breweries (notice I don’t necessarily say microbreweries) are represented. Just go there and then be happy.

I was in airports or airplanes pretty much all yesterday so nothing new to report there except that I really don’t like airports and airplanes. When I walk through security lines and look at those goddamned “The Current Terrorist Threat Advisory Is: Orange” signs I want to scream and stomp my feet but then I’d end up incarcerated forever being tortured by our new Republican Overlords. Come the fuck on, what human looks at those things and thinks “Holy shit, better be on the lookout!” Let’s make sure that all the people are kept in a perpetual state of fear so that Shoot-em-in-the-face Cheney and Commander Codpiece can stand on a broken piece of the World Trade Center and fight off the scary brown terrorists with their big swingin dicks. As the vice president once stated so eloquently, “Fuck you.”

Sigh.

I’m going to lie around my house until monday comes and then it’s back to work. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do before November 2nd, so’s I better start doing it. And I’ll staaaaaaaaaaaaaart… tomorrow.

Not Terribly Surprising

You are a Social Liberal (78% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (21% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Clap Harder!

Take a look at today’s Tom Tomorrow. Pretty good stuff.

RAJ OUT.

Dummocrats? The Stinging Wit

I was just looking over The Daou Report this morning when I noticed that there is a right-wing blog called “Dummocrats.” Never let it be said that the Right was above such bullshit in the time before they caused the world to melt.

So in the spirit of the Right. I’d like to start my own blog called “Republishitheads.” It would be mostly about saying that the Republicans are shitheads. You know: their hat tips, their “heh indeeds,” their ability to interlink each other thousands of times per second until you’re clicking for days to find the original content.

I think I’ll start my new blog by calling Michelle Malkin a stupid whore. That’s just the sort of flare for the dramatic that the Right cherishes. Now, if I could only find out where she was in Cambodia on Xmas (secularist!) Eve…

RAJ OUT.

Fucking Republicans

Hardy har har, someone’s idea of a joke was to put me on the RNC mailing list. Whoever it was can suck my fucking cock and die. I wrote them a little letter to return with an empty donation envelope. I also scanned in the Begging Letter for everyone to see.

And here is my response, going into the postage-paid envelope:

March 24, 2005

Mike Retzer
RNC Treasurer
310 First Street S.E.
Washington, D.C. 20003

Dear Sir or Madam:

Checking my mailbox today I was highly surprised to find a letter from the RNC begging me for money, presumably to use to call me a “traitor” and “UnAmerican.”

Keep your filthy, torture-supporting, gay-hating, anti-worker, anti-environment, anti-freedom, anti-choice organization’s literature out of my mailbox. I am not a Republican, nor will I ever be one. I am not evil, you see.

Sincerely,
Zachery Moneypenny

Haterade

Man, I thought I swore a lot, but this lunatic has it down pat. “Sandra Bray O’Cuntface”?! There’s the steaming right-wing for you. Here’s my favorite quote (regarding the McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform bill:

We knew this was going to happen the moment Traitor McCain’s brainchild survived Congress (and yes, betraying the Constitution IS treason, we don’t give a fuck how many years he spent in the Hanoi Hilton, so cut out that crap before you get started. It’s irrelevant), and there it is.

This guy really hates people. I think he is the definition of hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate

RAJ OUT.

Bobo’s World

I don’t write much about David Brooks of Bobo-hood fame, mostly because his schtick about how people from the Midwest are the only true Americans is tiring and need not be commented on week in and week out.

However, as he is Atrios’ Wanker of the Day, I clicked through to see why the immoral, effete left was giving him the vapors this week. It turns out that (*HORROR*) more and more married couples have separate bank accounts for husband and wife.

As so often is the case, the hair-splitting and meally-mouthedness of the screed is unbelievable. Sometimes they’re ok, if you consider yourselves real estate partners. The sniveling rejoinder is part and parcel of Brooks’ Midwest Minstrel Show. Of course, no Real American (tm, GOP) in Kansas would have separate accounts. Except for all the ones that do. Continuing on:

See, he’s not saying that couples with separate accounts have worse marriages, except that it’s going to tear down society if it goes any further. Liberal Ethics force me to point out the hyperbole in that last statement, if only because I wouldn’t want Jonah Goldberg accusing me of dissembling while Rome burns.

Truly, a Wanker of the Day.